Talking kissing, sex and intercourse with Teen Boys

“Giving a Bow Job is not as bad as kissing.” Is this correct? Well, this is what a 15 year-old girl told Victorine a few weeks back during a telephonic conversation (introduction to coaching). Ironically, this was a girl. Why illustrate it here?

According to Victorine, this is a reflection of a child who has been given no proper education about sex and intercourse, and she is performing it as ignorantly as many other children. But guess what? She is performing this Blow-Job with teen boys alongside older men. Our boys, our men.

Who is giving your children SEX EDUCATION? Pastor X, a dynamic family coach, marriage counsellor and owner of Marriage Affairs and Victorine Mbong Shu, a mother of  4, multiple awards-winning author and Involved Parenting Conversationalist caution that teen boys are at an age where they need to hear what their parents think about love and intimacy and be given a chance to talk about their own ideas and even their feelings.

Otherwise, they may do it and do it wrongly. “The more I interact with children and parents separately, the more I find that as adults, we have to warn teen boys about oral sex, intercourse, or kissing and what it means to girls”. Your teen has likely been exposed to pornography, so do not hold back too much. Talk about this with them and ask if they see the act of showing love in a pornographic or sexual act.

Ask them the meaning of love and sex and let them link these to their values so that you can take advantage and link these and their values to your own values.

Respond like, “having sex is good, but as your parent, my wish has always been for you to wait until you are in love or you are engaged,” if this matches with your values, Pastor X explains.

Please let’s tell teen boys that we love them irrespective of how they have chosen to explore their sexuality.

To both teen boys and girls tell and remind them frequently that they will always remember the first time that they were sexually active, until they die. They are the only ones who has the power to decide how they want to remember it.

“In more words, you’re writing your own personal history, and you want to make sure you are going to read it and feel proud of it when you grow up. Some people wrote it wrong, but most of them had no adult who spoke to them the way I am speaking to you now.”

Always remember that you can reach Pastor X on 083 331 7350 and Victorine on 082 548 6385 for more information on their coaching offerings.

By Victorine Mbong Shu.

Victorine is in education and training since 2002. She is the CEO of Profounder Intelligence Management Services, a Peak Performance Authority Coach, a Publisher, Editor, Researcher, Transformational Speaker, Mentor, Material Developer, Facilitator, Assessor, Moderator and TV Talk Show Host at Children Television South Africa (CTVSA). She is the owner of Profound Conference Centre in Bramley-JHB. She and Dr. Fru are raising 4 bubbly children, including Africa’s youngest multiple award-winning author of chapter books, Stacey Fru. Victorine is a respectable Involved Parenting Conversationalist with a Master’s Degree in Communications. She is a BrandSA Ambassador and Awards Winning Author of the following books:

  • ‘Stop Complaining! and Bring Back Involved Parenting, 2016’
  • ‘Trapped in our shadows, 2017’
  • ‘Proven habits for financial freedom, 2018’
  • ‘S’EX, 2018’
  • ‘Not too late: Bring Back Involved Parenting, 2019’

 

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