If you strike a child, you strike their parent … The book “Trapped in our shadows”


Life was such that a woman got pregnant, gave birth, breastfed and nurtured the baby to a certain stage, before letting go of the baby who then starts finding his own feet. Majority of women got married, had babies and looked after the husband and their house. Women made sure that their partners’ well-being was their concern and that the house was a flourishing environment for him. On his part, the man looked after the woman, their house and subsequently their children and relatives. He went to work or business, earned, and provided. Life was less complicated because children had very little responsibilities. They played, grew up, played, explored but helped tremendously at home with chores.

It seems like in those days, there was no short cut to becoming a family. Family life was paid for and parenting was earned. It was a responsibility and it was cherished. It looks like that is when people had their own dreams and worked towards them. That was a time when competition was healthy and people empowered each other for a common good. There must have been fewer, thieves of dreams who lived by constantly waiting to waylay others. Few people aimed at plenty of glory by putting in no effort and fewer shamelessly parented children in other’s shadows.

Today, birthing is different. So too is child raising. Children are raised within many dynamics including the fact that mothers now have to go out to work and earn. In short, life has become too competitive. Even so, most parents still put efforts to see that their children are successful. Few parents have big dreams for their children, but they do not want to go through the effort of working hard towards realising the dreams they have for their children. Like Herodias, they just copy. They copy the lives of others who work tremendously hard.

By Victorine Mbong Shu.

Victorine is in education and training since 2002. She is the CEO of Profounder Intelligence Management Services, Publisher, Editor, Researcher, Transformational Speaker, Mentor, Material Developer, Facilitator, Assessor, Moderator and TV Talk Show Host at Children Television South Africa (CTVSA). She is the owner of Profound Conference Centre in Bramley-JHB. She and Dr. Fru are raising 4 bubbly children, including Africa’s youngest multiple award-winning author of chapter books, Stacey Fru. Victorine is a respectable Involved Parenting Conversationalist with a Master’s Degree in Communications. She is a BrandSA Ambassador and Awards Winning Author of the following books:

  • ‘Stop Complaining! and Bring Back Involved Parenting,’
  • ‘Trapped in our shadows,’
  • ‘Proven habits for financial freedom,’
  • ‘Not too late: Bring Back Involved Parenting.’



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